Phil Can’t Get Pregnant But By God Dan Will Die Trying

Sometimes you read this very specific fic that just makes you feel the eyes of your ancestors looking at you in shame, horror, and disappointment

something something the angel finding his newly repaired human at a gas station

and the hunter finding his newly human angel at a gas station

Aziraphale is the most character ever. He ran out of ideas so he declared war on hell. He canonically says fuck. His favourite colour is yellow. He’s literally an angel and can speak every language on earth but still isn’t fluent in french. He told his boyfriend to shoot him for his magic act and made him go through with it when their miracles weren’t working. He gave away his flaming sword and then lied about it for the next 6000 years. He has a bookshop that never sells books. No one’s doing it like him.

watcher fans have few options:

history nerd who want his corpse to be eaten by wild animals, and seeks out dolls in abandoned buildings the way one does a cat at a party full of strangers

jock who believes in ghosts, thinks hair grows through the skull, and can't stop himself from making shit jokes

stressed foodie who seems normal until he opens his mouth and is always one inconvenience from committing arson

bonus:

nervous gay bartender who didn't have this in his 5 year plan

historical beauty guru who's willing to put ground up bugs on her face just too see what it looks like

im 2 days late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHIL YIPPIEEEEEEE THANK U FOR USING YOUR PLATFORM GOOD SIR!!!!!!

Crookshanks being an unpaid intern for Sirius Black is my favorite thing about Prisoner of Azkaban. He had that cat running ERRANDS. Ordering the Firebolt for Harry, stealing Neville's list of passwords. Crookshanks was Booked and Busy

Sometimes we could all use a reminder. (source)

the soul-crushing, sick-to-your-stomach feeling when you realize that (almost) no one has ever truly accepted the person you really are, because you adapt your personality to match whoever you are around, and when you stop masking they don’t like the person you are underneath. anyway, happy christmas!!

Dan Howell irreversibly has changed the way I speak since I was like 12. What do mean I keep saying literally and actually every other sentence.

Mr gaiman, what the fuck is good omens

I wish I could help you. I've asked several people around here and the general consensus is that it's probably one of those fancy cocktails with an umbrella in it, although there is a dissenting opinion that it might be either a traditional British dessert or perhaps a magic trick where a selected card is found several days later in next door's shed.