Not To Be A Fucking Boomer But Holy Motherfuck I’m So Tired Of Young Queers On Social Media Having

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Milf Barn

Okay, so this might be a bit tmi, but *proceeds to basically recite the MCR wikipedia*

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wip, will post on sideblog when finished

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My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station

ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band

Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along

Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady

Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof

Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY

Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to

Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name

Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares

Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy

Asia: Tuesdays

Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist

Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny

Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company

Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith

Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD

Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy

Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different

Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically

Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL

Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you

Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS

Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life

Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural

Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about

Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty

Bush: ditto

Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?

Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic

Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with

Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that

Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”

Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better

Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right

Collective Soul: who?

Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5′6″ and from the 80s, they’re not

Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*

CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*

CSNY: David Crosby; meh

Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER

Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one

Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up

Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest

Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio

Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor

Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close

Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth

Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none

Edgar Winter Group: @the–blackdahlia

Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison

ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule

Essex, David: no prominent memories of him

Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell

Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?

Faith No More: I got nothing

Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop

Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential

Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself

Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip

Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill

Ford, Lita: deserved better

Foreigner: dramatically overplayed

Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box

Free: dramatically underplayed

Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot

Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter

Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass

Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does

Grand Funk Railroad: Funk

Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music

Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes

Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason

Green Day: the first of the emo revolution

Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen

Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that

Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?

Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool 

Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names

Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!

Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references

Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration

Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time

Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself

INXS: Terminator vibes

Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison

James Gang: too many funks

Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative

Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*

Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*

Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute

Jett, Joan: icon

J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played

Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that

John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name

John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me

Joplin, Janis: Queen

Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire

Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic

Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole

Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically

Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject

Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes

Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)

Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons

Live: I got nothin

Living Colour: slap a decent amount

Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track

Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD

McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple

Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf

Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987

Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon

Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot

Modern English: who?

Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes

Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT

Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it

Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie

Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’

Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one

Nicks, Stevie: witch queen

Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill

Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed

Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least

Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*

Offspring: nothing here

Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy

Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard

Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money

Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*

Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good

Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?

Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled

Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’

Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say

Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig

Queensryche: neutral opinion

Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that

Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music

Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent

Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it

Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it

RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)

Red Rider: basically Golden Earring

Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull

REM: American Tragically Hip

REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title

Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie

Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit

Santana: The world needs more Santana

Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend

Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say

Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)

Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you

Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us

Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater

Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it

Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know

Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having

Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison

Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan

Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions

Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard

Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015

Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable

Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself

Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them

Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously. 

Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt

Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to

Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’

Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth

Ten Years After: somehow still relevant

Tesla: not the car or the dude

The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them

The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her

The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul

The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names

The Kinks: kinky

The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile

The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours

The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have

The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it

The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s

Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?

Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern

Toto: the most memed song behind All Star

Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds

T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon

Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush

Tubes: like the yogurt

Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it

U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways

Van Halen: RIP Eddie

Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?

Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn

Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get

War: Foghat, but even groovier

Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis

Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene

Yes: To Be Continued

Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY

Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand

ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged. 

3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever

38 Special: Why 38?

The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (2013)

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How to Talk About Abortion

Republicans are losing on abortion. They’re losing elections, from the midterms to red state ballot measures. They’re losing public opinion: 78% of Americans believe abortion should be a decision left to a woman and her doctor, with support for reproductive rights the highest it’s ever been. 

Given all this losing, how is it possible that the GOP is still framing the debate on abortion? It’s absurd that the national conversation has become a question of when it’s fair to legislate someone’s body. With voters more furious and pro-choice than ever, the most effective message is also the only appropriate answer: never.

Yet while Republicans frame their bans as reasonable compromises, pro-choice politicians have been inexplicably taking the bait. Democrats continue to cater to an imaginary middle out of fear that they’ll be labeled extremists, even though conservatives will attach the label to them regardless. And to prove the horror of abortion bans, they’re focusing almost exclusively on the extreme stories they believe will be most sympathetic—sexual violence victims, for example, and women with wanted pregnancies denied abortions despite the risk to their lives. 

It’s vital to highlight all of the harm caused by bans, and stories like these undoubtedly demonstrate the horror of these laws. But concentrating on the few experiences that Democrats believe are most palatable at the expense of the majority of cases is a grave moral and strategic error.

Every abortion denied is a tragedy. You don’t have to go into sepsis to be forever harmed by an abortion ban. You don’t need to be raped to have control of your body stolen from you. 

And while the most extreme consequences of abortion bans do happen with shocking regularity, they are still outliers: Most people seek out abortions because they don’t want to be pregnant. And that’s okay—in fact, it’s critical. 

Reproductive rights and justice isn’t about who ‘deserves’ care, or who has endured enough suffering to have earned an abortion. Forcing anyone to be pregnant against their will, for any reason, is immoral and cruel. Yet somehow in the hubbub of polls and bills, talking points and politics, the power of this fundamental truth has been pushed aside. 

That’s why Republicans need the public debate on abortion to be distracted with fights over 12 weeks versus 15 weeks, or what medical conditions should be listed in so-called exceptions. They want Americans to forget the central compelling reality of what these bans really do: legally require pregnancy. They take away a person’s ability to control their own body and life. It is a profound existential harm.

The national conversation on abortion may be neglecting that fact, but Republicans haven’t forgotten. They know exactly what’s at stake and have planned for the suffering their laws will cause—suffering they know won’t just impact those forced to carry doomed pregnancies or victimized children, but all women and girls.  

Tucked away in most abortion bans is language on medical exceptions that anticipates precisely what happens when you force people to be pregnant against their wills:   

“[N]o condition shall be deemed a medical emergency if based on a claim or diagnosis that the woman will engage in conduct which would result in her death or in substantial and irreversible physical impairment of a major bodily function.” (Senate Bill 20, North Carolina)

The wording shifts slightly from state to state, but the mandate is the same: pregnant people will be made to stay that way, even if a doctor believes they will kill themselves. 

What better proof is there that conservative lawmakers know how vital it is to one’s humanity to have control over your own body? How ‘reasonable’ and ‘commonsense’ can a law be that predicts women becoming suicidal as a result? 

That’s why it’s so important that Democrats focus on more than just certain tragic stories when talking about abortion. Every case is an extreme case, because every woman’s life and free will is important. 

Besides, by paying disproportionate attention to the experiences that strategists believe are the most sympathetic, Democrats are giving the GOP a critical political opportunity: the ability to avow that they’ll tweak abortion bans to account for those particular cases. In fact, Republicans have already started doing this—using exceptions and amendments to claim they’re making their laws more lenient. 

The truth, of course, is that these are changes in name only. When Idaho Republicans added language to their abortion ban to “clarify” allowances for medically-emergent abortions, for example, doctors in the state were furious over the farce. Boise-based maternal fetal medicine specialist Dr. Lauren Miller said that politicians were “trying to make it look like something happened, when in fact, this makes no meaningful change.”

But even if Republican exceptions were genuine, and allowed for abortions in certain cases—what about everyone else?

Before Roe was overturned, one in four American women would have an abortion in their lifetime. That’s a huge portion of the population now without care. To abandon them, even in our talking points, is unthinkable. 

It also doesn’t make any political sense. Support for abortion rights is the highest it’s ever been—why would Democrats cede anything at all? 

We know why Republicans are framing state bans as sensible middle-grounds, despite all evidence to the contrary. They desperately need voters to believe that they’re not extremists. (A tall order when the nation’s leading anti-abortion groups want to make birth control illegal.) And in a moment when Americans are really unhappy with abortion bans, the hope is that painting 12- and 15-week restrictions as a concession will make voters feel as if Republicans have compromised or lost something. 

But the strategy isn’t working. A recent poll from NARAL Pro-Choice America showed 70% of respondents don’t buy the idea that a 15-week ban is a “reasonable compromise.” And an ABC/Washington Post poll reports that only 18% of Americans believe abortion should be regulated by law at all. 

And so remaining on the defensive—whether it’s allowing conservatives to define what a ‘middle ground’ is, or fighting solely to restore Roe and nothing more—only gives credence to one of the biggest abortion lies of all: the notion that Americans are split on the issue.

In a moment when Republicans across multiple states are working to stop citizens’ right to vote directly on abortion, there is perhaps no myth more important to debunk. Because if Americans believe that the country is evenly divided on abortion, they’re much less likely to ask questions when restrictions are passed against voters’ wishes. 

That’s the same reason conservatives are pushing for a national abortion ban by calling it a ‘national standard’ or ‘national consensus’. Anti-abortion activists won’t use the word ‘ban’ because they need federal abortion legislation to sound like something everyone agrees on. Otherwise, voters might be reminded that a small group of extremist legislators are enacting bans that Americans decidedly don’t want.

For years, the conventional wisdom was that conservatives won the messaging war on abortion. Whether it was true or not then, it’s certainly not the case now. That’s why there’s no reason for pro-choice politicians or mainstream activists to mince words or tiptoe: If the GOP isn’t winning the debate, why in the world would we let them frame it?

Anytime an anti-abortion activist or lawmaker starts to talk about their ‘reasonable’ abortion bans, they need to be asked why a so-called moderate bill needs to anticipate women becoming suicidal. If they talk about ‘exceptions’, demand that they produce a single person who was able to obtain an abortion using one. And when Republicans argue that Americans want a ‘compromise’ on abortion, ask why, then, they’re so afraid of letting voters have a say. 

Let them attack us, let them spin and lie. Because it’s not “extreme” to believe no one should be forced to carry a pregnancy against their will. It’s not “radical” to point out that pregnancy is too complicated to legislate. How do we know? To start, because these beliefs are the norm.

And that’s what Democrats need to be reminding the public of every day. These are bans being passed against our wills, laws that are hurting people every single day. Not just those with tragic stories—but anyone with the ability to get pregnant. It has never been more important to lead with the truth instead of responding to their lies. 

Abortion rights has historic support, it’s time we all talk like it.

the queen is dead. 🦀

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BTW I only really use this main account for shitposts & likes. If ya wanna see some cool stuff, check out my classic rock sideblog, where I post Fanart and memes and stuff:

I don't know why folk aren't immediately talking about this but. The "professors" aren't named after trees, are split into the game versions theme, and seem to have tie-ins aesthetically to the legendaries. Pretty sure they're the Scarlet/Violet villains unless pokemon is really changing things up

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